Ten reasons not to be vegan
- If you go vegan, you'll need less sleep. Less sleep means more time when you have to face your pathetic live - you don't want that.
- Meat production allows for all the little joys of life - castrating pigs, kicking turkeys in the head - and how sore life would be without these.
- Meat, dairy products and eggs are all full of good ol' cholesterol and other such healthy ingredients - excellent way of being over with your life sooner.
- Slaughterhouse. You just gotta love the word - slaughterhouse. Even the name of a song. Lovely place to meet people and make friends.
- Going vegan is probably the single most significant step you can take to help protect the environment. But why would you want to do that? You'll look way more cool if you pretend to be helping it instead, by doing counter-productive things like most of recycling.
- Feel light and full of energy after eating? Nah. Feel heavy! Spend the rest of the day digesting. You got nothing else to do.
- Killing animals might be fun, but receiving proper training in killing members of your own species is all the more essential. By becoming vegan, you'll be deprived of it, and the great pride of serving your country which goes with it.
- What would happen to those most useful members of our society, customs officers, if they couldn't stop you when crossing a border to ask "Got Milk?"?
- As the great protector of animals in the same sense that you should be - hypocrite - put it: " I don't know. But I'm sure it had parents."
- 99% of people are not vegan. Those are the same people who make the right choices in terms of politics, morality and culture. How could they be wrong about what they eat?
2008-11-27